Creative (S)training

Over the last couple of days, i have been watching‘s “Creative Stamina” series, a collaboration in video with the esteemed Jane Dunnewold.

Finding time is the biggest obstacle most say. I DO have the time though–it’s forcing myself into the stoodio, forcing myself to get to work. I stand at the worktable lost (sometimes in ideas, most often underwhelmed) and can’t focus on anything. Is it the mess? Is it my too busy brain? Is it the mess *in* my brain? I have the techniques and tools i need, so it’s not that blocking me, i don’t wish for more materials or “skills”. I don’t listen to anyone else’s criticism about my work, or personal habits, so it’s not that either. (In fact, i have no one to do, who does do that. Lone blogger, lone artist, despite being in several textile oriented groups…..NOT a bad thing.)

Am i losing my passion, my commitment? Rarely do i have OMG moments anymore, for my own current WIPs or for work posted by others elsewhere. I love pretty much everything i have done, just not what i am doing….

More often these days, i feel i am pissing into the wind, as they say. Other times i felt like this, it was PAINFUL. This instance however, i bore myself–what the hell is going on? I acknowledge that after every big project is completed, that i am lost, anxious, sad even, but this? Is there a point to going on? Is there a going on?????? I don’t mean any of this as a pity party either: it could be a stoppage has occurred for a reason, a reason that will have me chortling when i figure it out. I have goals, deadlines, intent, but no purpose.

I’M NOT WHINING. I’m not even ranting as i used to do. I am truly puzzled. It’s like climbing a ladder and suddenly there are four steps missing before i can reach the 5th one up. My legs aren’t that long, and i ain’t that agile anymore.

3 responses to “Creative (S)training

  1. I absolutely get this. Hope it passes and you have a renewed interest in the work. Sometimes I have that oh what the eff for feeling about the art I am doing, in point of fact that is where I find myself right now. Eh, maybe it’s one of those astrological planetary things? I don’t know, overwhelmed, underwhelmed?


  2. It is strange but you have describe my current state to a Tee! I have the aspirations, the deadlines, the skills, a direction but not the excitement. What is going on? Have been repeatedly asking myself ‘Why?’


  3. “Draw Antonio draw and don’t waste time” as Michelangelo advised his young assistant all those years ago, drawing always helps in understanding what’s happening in the world both inside & out


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