Good night, my Darling

I love you so much. I’ll miss you for a long time, but i will join you someday. My love, my rock, my hero, the “wind beneath my wings” as we joked, my husband for 20 years which has not been long enough, Vic passed away in the early hours of Feb 25, 2024.

Thank you to the nurses at South Health Campus in Calgary, the Palliative Care Team, Vic’s co-workers, my neighbours, Constable M Guenter, Vic’s cousin’s wife Rhonda (my “sister in law” though that’s not quite correct ❤ ), the cabbies of Uber and Amber at the funeral home.

Vic will be cremated, with no service and in the Spring, my son and i  will take him to near Elbow Falls to be with the furbabies and the mountains, and some of him to Vancouver Island to be with the ocean he loved too.

Last night i dreamed he was sleeping with me, a vivid warm feeling. I could sense his body, his weight in the bed and this morning i woke a bit more at peace.

 

no title

Vic has a very aggressive lung cancer and is in the last stages of his life, however much time he has left. Tomorrow he will be home to be in some comfort and with myself and our remaining animals. At this point i do not want to talk a lot about it, as we are both overwhelmed. It’s enough to know that you are thinking of us, even if briefly.

I love and adore my Greyman, my soul mate, my rock.

Life doesn’t come with sum ups

But after almost 2 years of not posting, i want to make sure everyone knows i’m still here, and still “doing things”. Sort of. No pics though.

It hasn’t been great. My mother has broken both hips in the last year, so with also a knee replacement, she is now the Bionic Woman, from the waist down at least. Currently, she is in hospital for the second hip replacement (tripped over the dog’s work, a chewed up rug…) but does not sound like herself and is “trapped” there until the 1st of February at least. First hip operation a year ago she was home the next day and moving around, this time i think she’s going to give up……

Greyman and i have spent the last year trying to figure out why we both feel like utter shit after quitting smoking. Aren’t we supposed to feel better??????? It’s been 15 months, neither of us cheated, but guess what? We have pneumonia, mine barely negligible, his enough to put him in the hospital at the moment, short of breath, also as they have discovered, severely anemic and with an ulcer or two. He’s been there 3 days and will be for at least another 2 weeks, and i miss him and i’m scared for him. He has a breath exerciser and a liquid diet, which means when he gets to come home, he’ll probably weigh as much as a stick. But he will be a breathing stick at least.

Oh yeah, and through my own self neglect, i am pre-diabetic. I love food so this sucks. I’m still learning what the fuck the difference is between healthy food and not healthy because i thought i WAS eating healthy……………..

We do wonder though why for the duration so far of our no-more-smoking lifestyle, both of us have been EXHAUSTED. We’ve had weekends for months when we would get up at 9, go back to bed at 11, get up at 3, back to bed at 5, up at 8 and then back in bed by 10, both of us sleeping like the proverbial log. We tried “happy pills”, but anti depressants made it worse, so stopped those. Still a fricking mystery. The Lizard Brain (the one/part responsible for addiction, pleasure and stubborn-ness) is NOT pleased at all. Asshole.

The cat we “inherited” (from his late Mom) died a month ago in the closet, all curled up and passed away in her sleep. Sally was my Duchess of Canterbury, the sweetest, gentlest, quietest kitty i’ve ever had. I miss her sleeping on me, and i mean ON me–i was a hammock for her, always with the little cold piddies and tummy on me.

Haven’t gardened for 2 years.

We did drive back to Ontario (almost 7000K round trip) the summer of 21 to see what’s left of my family, 2 brothers and my Mom. First time they had met Greyman, and we all got along wonderfully.

I’d had great plans for the Christmases of 21/22/23 (Holy shit, thought it was 2 of them, not 3…), dyed and collected all the stuff together with my sketches and patterns and trims and beads—–and did NOTHING.

Took a print dye class online in 21, did nothing with it. GOOD class though regardless of my non results.

I’ve been planning on creating a wearable art line again, have accumulated the necessary fabrics, drawn up the patterns and collected the raw materials for dyeing—-lots of ideas and sketches, not even any prep on fibres done yet. MUST GET OFF ASS AND GET AT IT. I DO want to do this, seriously. Really. Really i DO. I loved it when i had my wearable art business in the 90’s.

Taking another print and dye class currently, more comprehensive and “glamorous” (YES i WANT “Glamorous” results and will have them.)

FB and Instagram are my main entertainments these days, though i do keep up on the ocassional blog, so i know what most of you are doing. Waving madly at you, hi, hi, hi.

So, bets on when i post again?

I’ll be back, baby:

Soon!

12th Anniversary Sale!

Wow, how time flies! I have spent the last 5 months working on myself and i think Self has learned some lessons and taken them well to Heart

Imagine my surprise when i noted too that August of this year marks my 12th year as a natural dyer! I’ve learned so much from both my own experiences, and the wisdom of a few trusted and expert teacher friends from around the world: i love you Special Blossoms!

To celebrate this, i will be having a “12 days of the 12th FybreSpace Anniversary Sale”, starting August 4th and concluding on August 23rd. All fabrics and threads will be 15% off and all Art 30% off. My prices are in Canadian dollars, and as always, i refund any extra shipping paid.

New items will be added through the 12 days. Please share this as you can. Thank you too, all the Lovely Petals who have supported me and had/have faith in me in this journey of colour and knowledge FybreSpace, the shop, is here.

PS, i going to try to keep posting again, as *I* miss it!Now i HAVE gleaned ideas and techniques to try with other textile arts, kept up with my natural dyeing and do talk to a few people, but i haven’t made anything really since Christmas 2020, at least not that ever got finished. And i used to post very frequently, as much as 4 times a day in the beginning of my blogging (2003!). I used to be rather funny, then i got whiney, then i turned mean and antagonistic, and then i started reading a lot of books and had nothing to say for myself… Looking now i see i have posted only NINE times since the end of May last year………………………………………….

SO, i pledge to post at least once a week–if anyone cares anymore because most of us, self included— are busy on FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram than blogs now, but i miss blogging–it is/was where all the real work was shown, the sharing and the laughs, not just the dramatic staged “LOOK AT ME VALIDATE ME FOLLOW ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME” photos with the short pithy or pleading messages—erk, i do love like them still, they serve their purpose for a variety of reasons.

beauty is… (and a shop update)

…in the eye–and in camera in this instance–of the beholder!

Here’s another thing i love about natural dyes: NUANCE. These two photos are of the same pack of goodies! Taken at different times of the day, the light conditions really show the subtlety of the colour components that make up each dye. Below, these are mixed batches of cochineal, madder and solidago. HOT CRAYONS!

I can “replicate” these in a sense, knowing what’s in the pot, but when you use “leftovers”, you can’t be sure of the proportions. Just/trust letting the pots do what they will, is much more satisfying. Oh sure, there have been a few Muddyduds along the way, but hey, overdye to the rescue!

One of the other delights of these deep colours is that they will last longer. I cringe when i see some of the weak pale colours that are an IG “standard”. Some of them *are* pretty, but they’re NOT going to last–to me it’s like putting 1/16 of a tsp of cinnamon in the cinnamon rolls–it’s discernible, but barely. Are people not aware of WOF, or are they being too cheap with it, or do they think it makes their pound of madder last longer which cuts their costs??? Here’s a perfect example, “madder dyed”:

How long is this going to last, under ordinary conditions of wear and light exposure, even under following “special care instructions”? I’ve seen clothing lines blithely calling this (and that photo specifically!) naturally dyed, and then producing multiples of the garment–that to me IS cheapness of production. Ever noticed that samples from extant collections are (for the most part) still VIBRANT, or at least very indicative of the original colour?

And yes, i DO sell softer colours, but they are NEVER as insipid as the above! There’s still a good percentage of WOF in my work 🙂

Anyhoo, that’s my two cents. I have other offerings in the shop as well, if you care to peruse them, and thank you again to all the Lovely Blossoms who have the faith and trust to support my small endeavours.

 

the PHD post (Piling it Higher and Deeper), and shop update

I’m not hoarding, but it’s starting to look like that in my studio: piles and slipping stacks of various fabrics and colours, snarls and twangles of thread in more fibres and colours, and nowhere to move or work!

There’s so much here that i will never use–and never mind how much UNdyed i have still to work through! I’ve been putting aside small packs for myself with the intention of Making, but this time i slipped in notes and sketches so i wouldn’t forget what was so all fired fascinating about the selection at the time 🙂

So….threads and fabric packs now in the shop!

A sampling:

just messing around

I “re-found” a treasure! When my MIL died, the place was full of everything from 73 hand towels, make up from the 70’s, shelves of laboratory glassware from a pharmaceutical company she had worked at, etc etc etc plus a sewing room full of mostly synthetics, bland colours, and truly useless bits. (We donated/distributed amongst family/charities/dump a full TON of her stuff!) I did however find a bag that contained a couple good handfuls of 2 deconstructed wedding dresses–and the overlaid laces are cotton, which i put In The Safe Spot–and lost it for several months!!!!!! Quite fragile, i had to be very careful while scouring and handling it, but it is LOVELY. (And OH the gunge that came out of it, eeeuuuuw!!!)   I see my European friends quite often showing off their “brocante” (second hand market) finds and obviously they are able to score a LOT of old linens, lace, embroideries and trims, whereas here in Canada, they are either long gone into other reconstructions, destroyed by time or snapped up at outrageous prices by collectors, so a find like this is very lucky.

(One thing i thought odd though was that the sleeves at the armscye seam  had a thin uncovered very sharp wire enclosed! There was an apparent bloodstain there as well, so can only guess a weeping bride or a frustrated MIL trying to get it out!)

I threw some with other cottons in my 2 year old dried tansy pot (um, that would be just the tansy 2 years dried, not the pot 🙂 ) and just about screamed: look at that ORANGE!!!!

BUT, i do know that what you see in the dye bath is NOT always what you get on the fibres. (I’ve had a purple dye bath dry to green, for instance!)

I was right however about the colour but did however get a reasonably medium to deep yellow this time, as for a couple of years for some reason, my tansy was giving weak colour. (Perhaps because it was picked from a ‘contaminated” area, an old gas station?)

Also combined older pots of lac and madder:

And quebracho rojo!

working with velveteen

My new favourite type of cotton!

Cotton velveteen has wonderful texture, is firm but malleable enough to manipulate and soaks in natural dye in vintage ways. (It takes a LOT of pre-dyeing steps to get it to absorb dyes correctly, due to the nap.)

 

Oops, put the wrong size of coral moon on the end of the top row–better go through those storage jars and check sizes! This was my sample piece, and i see a few areas where my measurements were a *wee* bit off. Three colours of velveteen used in above and two in the second piece below:

 

Much better seam matching, and the silk velvet circles are even across *their* colours.  These two chunks are 8×10″. I haven’t quite decided yet whether they need some simple embroidery or some beading to accent the circles.

 

Crazy still lives here

What a stream of sour months there has been in this household! This “normal” has not been. Teeth bared, claws unsheathed, hackles raised. No blood, no permanent damage, but learning that once a big trigger/doubt/fear/issue/worry is dealt with, there are probably a few more buried to deal too!

Suffice it to say, i won’t go into details, but with some help, things are getting back on track. Even the studio has seen a bit of activity this week. I’ve read over 700 books since May of 2020, and i think my brain is now sufficiently stuffed with enough words that i can focus my focus on Making things, Doing things. ANY Things creative! Sketchbooks have been dragged out, i took an online course on natural printing and the house has actually been “ret up” and is decent again.

I AM actually stitching again, hoping to show a bit of handwork, nothing special, but some prototyping and physical doodling at least. Christmas is not that far away and i’m not sure what’s going in the shop this year for the season!

To that end, i have new listings in the shop–i better have since “Somebody” ordered SO MUCH FABRIC this year!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve “started” again in there with a few scrap packs and some “fat quarters” that have been waiting since the beginning of Sept to be noticed and dealt with, but there will be much more listed as it gets done.

I love these larger pieces (a fat quarter is 18×22″), plenty of scope for making things from, or using as a base/background. In the shop at https://fibrespace.bigcartel.com/

 

Next on the list for embroidery ideas, LACE! From the ever wonderful Dover Books copyright free editions.